Naughty Fish - UPDATE

Well, we thought it was about time 'Minty' the Molly fish was taken out of his padded high security cell and returned to the confines of the fish tank. We thought after all this time he would have learnt his lesson and would be ready to be reintegrated into 'fish' society.

Boy, were we wrong about Minty! No sooner had we dropped the four walls and waited until he got used to his surroundings, he was back to his old tricks, bullying the other fish, nipping and head-butting one in particular. This victimised fish, Jerry named him Shaun, was already wounded from the previous attack and still swims with a limp.

So..there was nothing for it. We had to take drastic action. I say 'WE', but as soon as Jerry knew what had to be done, he suddenly found some washing up to be done and decided to empty the dishwasher! I know!

I had trouble catching Minty so Jerry agreed to capture him, but said he didn't like to kill or murder so would have nothing to do with the actual 'act'. I reminded Jerry he was the one who actually caught Shaun, so was a conspirator to murder and that would also carry a heavy sentence...this knowledge didn't do much for his conscience, but who cares...at least he knows how to use the dishwasher now and that's the most important thing.

So with Minty in the little fishnet, I carried him to our family bathroom and hovered over the toilet bowl with him...wondering if what I was about to do was very wrong. Maybe fish DID have feelings...how long would it take Minty to die...should I have dropped him down our downstairs toilet which might be a quicker death as it had a macerator...should I say a quick prayer...

I felt a bit silly talking to God about Minty and asking for forgiveness, so I chose to just drop him in. I'm sure God was completely aware of our fishy dilemma and I should say at this point, I did call the Aquatics Store where we bought Minty to ask for forgiveness...I mean advice. They said re-home him. I asked if they would take him back and they said no...doh! Re-homing was easier said than done. Who would want an angry fish? So, there we were...hovering over the white ring of heaven. It was now or never. I dropped him in. He swam towards the side of the pan and before he had time to say "Damn" (get it?!), I pulled the flush.

It was only then I had a thought...I should have removed the blue cistern block. Now Minty's in the porcelain pipeway in the 'blue' sky. Job done. Jerry is still waking up in the night in a cold sweat saying 'Minty'!