What Dignity?

It's funny how your dignity goes out the window when you have a baby. Not only do you have to keep your legs apart for hours on end, you then worry about the possibility that you might just poop in front of the midwives who then actually clear it away as if were crumbs you left from a slice of chocolate cake...

...but then the hospital midwives take hold of your boob and nipple as if they were forcing a square peg into a round hole. A round hole which keeps moving and has a rather annoying 'crying' sound effect. You can guarantee it though...those midwives WILL get that square peg in the round hole even by force, then they hold it there and wait for the round hole to clamp down onto it. Then they ask 'can you feel the milk?'...'No, but I can feel your cold hands squishing my boobs, its not even 7.00am and you've not brought me my toast, jam and tea yet woman!!'